Hey Reader,

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Today, I want to talk about how my competitiveness turned me into a hater instead of a winner.

The Day I Realized I was a Hater, Not a Friend

My freshman year of college, I got my first B in a math—and spiraled. School was my thing, and I was struggling.

Before summer, my best friend and I checked our grades. He not only outperformed me, but he crushed it.

Instead of saying "Congrats", I was stunned and frustrated. I wondered, "How was he doing so much better than me?"

He was rightfully upset. What kind of friend sulks when you're winning?

I apologized and we reconciled, but that never fixed this behavior.

The Core Would: I Thought Winning = Love

I like to win. I hate losing. I've always been competitive.

In the gym, track, school—you name it, I'm trying to beat you.

My competitiveness drove me to succeed for years. This is who I was.

So even when a friend wins, there's a piece of my mind that asks, "Why isn't that me?"

This isn't healthy, and it stops you from being a good friend.

So, I dove deeper in therapy. Here's what I discovered:

Growing up, my Dad only paid attention when I was winning or playing sports. My wins were his bragging rights and moments to make himself look better.

Outside of that, he wasn't that present.

So, I developed this competitiveness as a way to gain his attention.

I hoped that the more I won, the more he'd love me.

So when someone else wins, it feels like I'm losing.

The Hidden Cost of Comparison

This mindset was straining my friendships and holding me back.

• I feel bad about not being as excited as I should be for my friends
• I spiral into sadness because I'm constantly comparing
• I downplay my wins because they don't compare to others

Worst of all, I learn more slowly, making it even harder to reach my goals.

I let ego, pride, and my competitiveness stop me from winning.

• Instead of learning from others, I dismiss their success as luck.
• If I see a competitor winning, I don't acknowledge their strengths because I see them as an "enemy."
• I waste time reinventing the wheel to prove that I'm smarter

All utter wastes of time!

If I were as smart as I thought, I'd follow the greats by copying & building upon others' strategies.

So, that's what I'm going to do.

How I Reinvented My Mindset (and Stopped Reinventing the Wheel)

My senior year, Pete said something enlightening to me

He was 100% right.

So, I adjusted by

• Celebrating others' more
• Ignoring people's wins
• Silencing that voice in my head
• Avoid competing

This helped a lot, but the voice still lingered. And, I was still reinventing the wheel.

So, I thought of a reframe.

Instead of seeing people as competition, I see people as inspiration. Every business, product, or person is an opportunity to learn.

Every time I feel threatened or jealous, I treat it as a trigger to dive deeper.

For example, this week, I bought a competitor’s course. Normally, I’d scoff and skip past it.

Instead, I studied every aspect of it.

• How did he get me in his funnel?
• How did they upsell me into paying $200
• What else does he sell?
• How does his community have so many members?
• Why is he successful?

I created a Notion database & template. Whenever I'm inspired (or triggered), I study them and apply their strengths to my strategy.

Here's the explanation & template - Check the summary for the link

I plan to add 1 new inspiration per day. This new habit will lead to exponential growth and expertise.

From Jealous to Joyful (Seriously)

I'm not going to lie, I've been buzzing this week because of this reframe.

It feels like a weight has been lifted off my back.

This feels like the key to taking me from a struggling solopreneur to a multiple 6-figure founder.

Turn Envy into Inspiration

• Don't be a hater, celebrate & support your friends
• Being too competitive will make you a bad friend and entrepreneur
• Therapy revealed how I tied love to performance and winning
• Feeling threatened is an opportunity to be inspired

Reply "Inspire," and I'll share an inspiration page with you

​Playlist of the week - Yep, playlist